I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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