Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
