you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Dear god my vagina.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
