things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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