oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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