There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
