well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
