So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
