what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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