Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
