are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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