We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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