I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Holy shit dude........stairs
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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