How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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