so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
