ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Randomize
