just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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