Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
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