that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
