Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
