we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
