I am puke
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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