Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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