I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
No subtext here. People are naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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