i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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