I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
