Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize