Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
