I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
