Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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