Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
