can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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