i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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