I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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