They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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