I don't think brook has ever known best
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
should my penis look like a turkey
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
