Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
