she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
