I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize