Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize