My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i drank out of a bidet.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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