i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
