Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
tonight lets celebrate not being married
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
