I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
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Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
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I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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