I puked a lego.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
