the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You dont lie about slip and slides
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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