Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
