omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
