I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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