Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
