I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She even gives head with a lisp.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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