i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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