Me too!
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
