You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
