So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
