her vagine was all disorganized.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
