You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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