Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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